chocolate covered petrorabbits
by mamabot
Summary: a cracked story for a DA contest.  Friends try to help Bee's budding romance with Sari while she is missing Easter.  Sunstreaker&Sideswipe, Jazz, Shockwave, Optimus and Blaster.  Oh and petrorabbits & Drillers.


Warning: starts family-mushy and goes off the cliff in silly nuttiness from there.

Rating: Eh, goofy and dorky? (no smut or slash) not sure if you need a piddle pad.

Cast: Bee, Sari, Manta & Casey (mine from **Prime Blood Saga**), Jazz and some other Autobots, petrorabbits, eggs and one very confused Decepticon.

Location: Cybertron, Iacon.

Continuum: something with doorwings.

Dedication: Sabbath who has the most beloved Shockwave, ZuperBuuwho introduced me to Driller eggs, Illmatar & WiEGoP & Koontah who make me laugh my keister off, and Letohatchee who makes family sweetness sticker than Alangrieal's honeyfudge.

**And on with the show…..**

Sari is sitting in the glass walled entrance to Iacon's hall of records leaning on the railing of the balcony looking out over the city sadly. Bee, Bluestreak, Bulkhead and Sunstreaker come walking through the lower section of the entry way. Bee's EM field is highly sensitive to Sari's presence. He stops just below the balcony and looks up to solemn silent Sari.

Bulkhead stops when he sees what Bee does. Softly he leans over to the group, "Now there's an unusual sight. Sari quiet."

Bee bites his lip, "I don't like it."

Bluestreak smirks, "Bee, go talk to her, We know you are her, ah-hem, _friend._"

To which Bee turns slowly and narrows his gaze in a very classic stance, _What do you mean by that? _Sunstreaker cops a wide optic at the jab and Bee's reaction.

Bulkhead quickly quells the situation by stepping in between them, "I'm going to go talk to her. Anyone else coming?" With that he grabs Bee's elbow and drags him up the steps. Plunking his bulky elbows on one side of Sari, Bee takes the other side. "So, Sari, what'cha see?"

She mumbles, "Noth'n."

Bee tries again. "Missing something?"

"Easter," She asks in complete gloom. Bulkhead and Bee share a confused look over her head. She begins ticking her fingers off, "Easter egg hunts, jelly beans, chocolate rabbits, spring and all the pretty butterflies, flowers… sunshine…."

Sunstreaker beaming a bright as ever is coming up the stairs, "Did I hear my name?"

Bulkhead chuckles. Sari shoots the yellow mech a wary eye. Bluestreak shakes his head at the dork-o-bot coming up behind him.

Just then Casey comes into the lower lobby carrying her giggling sparkling over her head like an airplane. Manta, as his name states, looks like a silver-grey Manta Ray with his father's (Sideswipe) bright blue optics and his mother's smile. His arms and legs are flailing in fun. Casey swings him around and he squeals louder in delight. Sunstreaker seeing his nephew squealing in delight, calls to the mother, "Hey Casey, send the tike here."

Casey narrows her gaze at her sometimes reckless brother-in-law, "You better catch him this time! Otherwise you explain the injuries to Wroughtiron and First Aide."

Sunstreaker throws his hands up in defense, "Hey, it's not my fault your son is faster than a petrorabbit being chased by a cyber wolf."

Bee's head shoots up at the same time as Casey launches Manta through the air. Manta flaps his fin-wings and glides gracefully directly into his uncle's waiting snuggling arms. Sunstreaker kisses the little bot's forehelm and strokes his little budding antenna matching his father's helm. Manta rubs his nose to his uncle's chin, "Love you, Sunny."

Streaker nuzzles him back, "Love you even more Fish-face." The little one scowls at the name but not at the extra rub he gets as an apology.

Sari watches the family moment and reaches over to touch Sunstreaker's shoulder, "You know Sunstreaker, that's better than any old sunshine or chasing butterflies back home." She steps closer and kisses his cheek. Then she tugs Manta's antenna bud, "You are one lucky sparkling, Manta."

Manta leans over to touch her own helm protrusion, "So are you Sari. You got all of us. You never be lonely with Autobots." Everyone holds their breath for the sweetness of the moment. Sunstreaker pulls her into a loose embrace letting Sari kiss little Manta's helm. Then she slips away from them, "Well, off to see Red Alert about my security lessons. Bleah, boring!" Sunstreaker only chuckles. He knows how the fritzing bot can drive any number of trainees batty.

Watching Sunstreaker touch the femme he so wanted to comfort himself, set a cringe of jealousy through Bee, but only for a moment. Sunstreaker turned to Bee, still snuggling his nephew once Sari was out of audio-shot, "Bee, you've got a good thing going with her. When are you going to tell her you love her?"

Casey smiled warmly beginning her assent on the staircase to retrieve her son, "She is cute, Bee."

Bee rubs his helm in embarrassing frustration and takes a deep sigh. Then he decided to get the subject off himself looking to Casey with a bright idea. "Casey, you were human," the silver most definitely female/femme nods slowly, "Sari misses Easter. Were you planning something for Manta?"

Casey nods, "Yes, but my plans were going to be more traditional on my religious side. What were you thinking? Sari doesn't seem very religious."

Bee rolls his back to the railing letting his Doorwings flutter over the railing, "I need to find her a chocolate bunny, um.."

Bulkhead helps out remembering the list, "Easter egg hunt…."

Bluestreak chips in, "Butterflies…"

Manta bounces in his uncle's arms, "Petrorabbits!"

Sunstreaker beams, "I'll be the sunshine." Casey swacks him up the backside of the helm. But everyone does giggle.

Casey ponders the thought for a moment, "You know, Bee, this might not be such a bad idea. Bulkhead, could you take Manta for a little bit. Sunstreaker, I need your help."

Sunstreaker's jaw dropped, "Say that again?"

Casey narrows her gaze, "Don't make me regret this or say it again." Sunstreaker chuckles and follows her down the staircase.

~~ Days later, Sunstreaker is in Bee's quarters with Casey, Manta, Bluestreak, Bee and Jazz. The paint brush is poised over Manta's back, but Sunstreaker looks up to the sparkling's mother once more, "Are you suuuuure this is alright? Last time I did this, I ended up giving the kid a bath and scrubbing the whole rec-room down as punishment."

Casey rolls her optics, "Yes it's alright. Last time I didn't give you permission, this time I am. Now, use more pink."

Sunstreaker puts splotches of pink paint on his nephew's fin-wings. On the other side of the room, Bluestreak and Bumblebee are getting their door wings painted by Jazz. His already have stripes of chartreuse green and neon orange. Bluestreak is getting ruby red and sea foam green. Bee on the other hand, looks like a Monarch Butterfly: Sari's colors. Jazz had taken extra care to make him stunning for Sari. Bee has even tied on longer big fat fuzzy black pipe cleaners to his helm antenna buds to make his antenna look more gigantic insect like.

Jazz chuckles, "Optimus is gonna freak."

Bluestreak chuckles back, "Nah, its Ultra Magnus who is gonna have a water buffalo when he sees what we did to the weapons range."

Casey touches her helm receiving a internal helm com, "Sideswipe said he's set up in the hangar whenever you guys are ready."

Jazz splotches a few more dabs on. "I'm done."

Sunstreaker turns Manta around, "This kid will pass inspection." To which everyone laughs. Sentinel Prime would have a freak'n herd of elephants if he saw this!

~~~ A few corridors over, Sari comes down the hall to the Hangar 2 at the paging of Sideswipe for pilot training. That confused her, she wasn't scheduled for that. What was really going on? She touched the door control and was assaulted with:

"Oh! Catch that!" And a little grey bouncing thing went shooting past Sari's ped. "Aw scrap those two too!" They next thing Sari knew, silver Sideswipe was dashing past her hot on the pursuit of a herd of little bouncing creatures. Petrorabbits? What were petrorabbits doing in a hangar? Well _were_ in the hangar but now were escaping through the base.

Sideswipe barked, "Don't just stand there! Help me catch them! Prime'll kill me!"

Sari twirled around and started after the cutest and littlest little creatures on Cybertron she had ever seen. Problem: the hall came to a central hub corridor. That met & branched into six hallways.

"Oh scrap. I'm dead." Sideswipe drooped his head. The little Cybertronian bunnies could be seen going down all six hallways and at least four hit the elevator just as the door closed. Sideswipe touched his helm com, "Uh Casey, the petrorabbits are out of the hangar bay. I need reinforcements."

Sari turns to Sideswipe, "Um, Swipe, what's going on?"

He scratches the side of his helm, "A surprise for you?"

The sound of thundering lightweight peds coming down the hall turns their attention. Both Sideswipe and Sari can't help but giggle at the bots all painted up like flying insects. Their Doorwings remind Sari of fairies at spring time. Casey has herself decorated like a flower.

Manta is actually flying himself, straight into his father's arms, "The bunnies are loose? Can I chase them?"

Sideswipe turns to Bee and Casey serious, "We better find them before Magnus and Prime do." And then the bellowing of voices can be heard from different parts of the base.

Sunstreaker points a finger up, "A question: What do we do with them when we find them?"

Manta squeals, "Subspace!"

Jazz taps the kid's helm, "Genius!"

Bee shakes his head, "Not me man! If I get two in there, by the time we are done, I'll have twenty. I'm finding a sack. You do whatever you want."

Casey sniggers, "He's right."

Bluestreak leans into Casey, "Says the horney-bot."

Casey smirks back slipping an arm around her delicious mate, "Jealous?"

Sari flushes at the blatant show of bot affection, "You two can get a room. I'm going to find the rabbits before we all get busted and some how I just knooooow Optimus is going to blame this on Bee and me. Meet back at the kitchen. Let's go."

Bee nods taking her hand in his. The group breaks into teams and begins scowering the base.

Poor Jazz was the only one with security rating high enough who could get to the command deck where the elevator had gone with the four rabbits. So trying to stride in confidently and nonchalant with his Doorwings painted in pastels fusion, he nods to Blaster. Blaster cocks a curious optic at him and then his attention flits to a movement at Jazz's feet. Fast as lighting, Jazz catches Blaster's glance, bends down, scoops up the robotic vermin and tosses it over his shoulder into his fast opening subspace. "Uh, what was that?" Blaster asks.

"Hum?" Jazz answers with a hint of complete loss while scanning the rest of the floor.

Blaster leans in, "What was that you just scooped up?""Oh, nothing. Just a dust bunny." And his peripheral vision catches a movement at Prime's elbow. "Scrap!" he mutters.

Optimus is just starting to turn. Jazz swiftly leans over slaps his hand down on the bunny causing it to squeak. Optimus heard it and narrows his gaze, "Jazz, what was that?"

Jazz fumbles for an answer, "You know, that basketball game you guys are talking about. Yep you were right," the rabbit tries to squirm out from under his hand and Jazz presses down again making it squeak again. Optimus raises his optic brows to the sound again. "Yep, you guys just squeaked that last point in." To make his point, squishes the bunny to one more squeak.

Optimus narrows his gaze, "Jazz, we weren't talking basketball."

Jazz scratches his chin with his other hand, "Really?" Then points away, "Hey what's that on the vid?" Optimus looks away and Jazz tosses this rabbit swiftly into his subspace as well resuming his posture.

Optimus turns back warily, "I didn't see anything."

Jazz shakes his head and hears Blaster sniggering. This time Blaster comes to his aid, "More dust bunnies, Jazz?"

Jazz turns and nods, "Must be."

Blaster points to the floor, "Must be an epidemic." Jazz feels the bunny on his ped. Checking Optimus' line of sight, away from him for the moment, Jazz does a very nice flip of peds over head flicking the bunny off his ped, over his head into the subspace opening at his shoulder height. Blaster can't help but chuckle out loud at that one.

Optimus, catching Jazz doing acrobatics in the command area shakes his head, "Not here and not now Jazz. Do you need something or are you just being annoying again?"

Jazz scratches his helm trying to come up with a good answer but is just drawing a blank. Optimus chucks a thumb over his shoulder silently ordering the Specialist out.

Blaster snorts, "Uh, nice paint job Jazz."

Jazz smiles, "It's for Manta and Sari. They're celebrating Easter."

Optimus narrows his gaze just knowing something is going to be baaaaad today. "You mean like Easter Egg hunts?"

Jazz nods, "Yeah, why?"

"I thought I heard Bee saying something about painting eggs earlier. We don't have any Earth eggs on sight, so what is he using?"

Jazz shrugs, "I don't know. Wasn't my department."

Optimus narrows his gaze, "You wouldn't know anything about petro rabbits, would you?"

Jazz laughs, "Of course I know about petro rabbits. The biggest two I know are named Optimus and Elita."

While everyone else in the command center laughs behind their hands, Optimus tunes his warningly narrowed optics on his white and colorful painted target, reaching out with one hand (not even breaking his gaze with Jazz) to grab the grey cute petrorabbit off the firing system for the base and holding it optic level. "Which one is this one?" Jazz's smirk falls quickly. The Supreme Commander continues, "Get them out of the base. Allll of them. And so help me Jazz, if Bee used the eggs I think he did…." Optimus shakes his head warily, "You will be the one to escort one very pissed Shockwave to collect them." Jazz swallows hard and eeps out, "Yes sir."

With that, Jazz scurries out of the command center plus one more bunny. Optimus then breaks his stoic façade, "We were not as bad as petrorabbits!" Everyone in the center turns to hide their faces in there work but silently still laughing. Everyone knows that petrorabbits' activities are minor compared to the Supreme Commander and his mate.

~~ Jazz flits out of the elevator and hits his personal com, /Bee, what kind of eggs did you hide in the firing range?/

Bee snarks back, /Duh, the only ones I could think of./

Jazz groans holding his head just knowing Optimus warning is coming true, /Bumblebee… WHERE did you get the eggs?/

Bee chuckles back, /Don't worry. He won't miss them for a short amount of time./

**KABOOOOOOOMMMMMM**

Bee and Jazz's internal coms collide /Oh SCRAP!/

And then the in-base PA system blares on to Optimus' irritate voice: "Attention Easter Egg Brigade. Report to your duty stations."

At the six way hub the group meets. Bluestreak has an armful of petrorabbits. Sunstreaker has a couple by their scruffs. Sari and Bumblebee are holding a wiggling bag between them. Manta perch squiggling on his father's shoulders is giggling from the tickling inside his tiny subspace. Casey instinctively slips her palm into her mate's knowing it's going to be very bad very soon. Bluestreak, smeared paint on his wings from crawling under something greasy, looks mad.

Prime continues the orders: "Bee, Jazz and Bluestreak meet your _guest_ at Bay Door 3. Casey and Sari and Manta continue v_ermin extraction!_ Sunstreaker secure them. Sideswipe report to the weapons range. Bring a mop. MOVE OUT!" With that it was clear Prime had slammed the PA to the off position.

Sideswipe looks to Bluestreak, "Mop?"

Bluestreak turns to Jazz, "Guest?"

Sunstreaker turns to Sideswipe, "Secure the vermin?"

Manta turns to Sari, "What are vermin?"

Sari looks to Bee with an ugly look, "Surprise? Humph!" She storms off. Bee's head sinks. Jazz puts an arm around his painted shoulder and leads him towards the door.

Sideswipe brings a Transformer size mop to the weapons range and is completely shocked by what he sees. There is paint splattered across some of the walls. Like giant paintballs had been splattered. Sure the weapons range looks like it has been blown apart. But this time, it really had been. But there was something wiggling just to his left. And then: **KABOOM**_! _Another flash of paint explodes up the side of his body. Left in it's wake, is a small wiggling squirming thing. He crouches down to get a better look and then yelps jumping back. The thing bit him!

He immediately touches his com and bellows /BUMBLEBEEEEEEEE!/ Sideswipe jumps back at another explosion of paint and bite at his other ped. Swiftly he leaps on top of one of the barriers normally used for ducking behind.

Bee coms back, /Everything okay, 'Swipe?/

Sideswipe lets off a string of curses and then asks the same question Jazz did, /Where did you get these eggs?/

~~ But Bee couldn't respond. His spark was too busy sinking to his peds. "Oh scrap."

Jazz snarks, "You can say that again."

Bluestreak stares at what is coming towards them and asks, "Bee, where did you get those eggs?" But Bee is scared so bad he drops to his Earth vehicle mode spinning his wheels. He can't go anywhere with Jazz's angry ped on his roof top though.

One very pissed violet Cyclops deposed Decepticon Guardian strides up to the Autobot base stomping his last couple steps to drive his anger straight into Bee's spark, "YOU!"

"Beeep" is the only noise from the tiny yellow and orange splattered compact.

Jazz cocks an arrogant hip to Shockwave, "Ah yep, _HIM," _to which he kicks Bee in the bumper. "Be a mech!" Bee doesn't move.

Bluestreak leans over, "Allow me." He comes between Shockwave and Bumblebee, "Excuse me, you may want to stand back." Shockwave cocks a very curious brow at the oddly painted sniper. Bluestreak grabs Bee by the front fender and lifts him off the ground and then drops him. Bee groans and mumbles a curse. Bluestreak leans over, "Excuse me, was that an apology?" Another mumble. Bluestreak turns to Shockwave, "Did that sound like an apology to you?" To which Shockwave crosses his arms over his chest and snorts in disgust.Bluestreak leans back into the slightly dented compact, "Shockwave didn't hear an apology." He steps aside and lays out a welcoming arm, "Be my guest, Guardian."

Shockwave actually smiles. Jazz nods in agreement. The violet large mech leans in and grabs Bee by the front bumper. Bee squeals and squirms, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me Shockwave."

Shockwave chuckles and lets go. Bee transforms onto his aft and scoots back against the base wall. Shockwave takes two stomps forward and leans in with a ferocious growl, "Why? Why did you steal the eggs?" Bee squirms and tries to looks away beginning to blush until Shockwave roars like an Earth-lion.

"For a femme!" Bee covers his face.

Shockwave's tone went instantly from "_**ROOOOOOOARRRRRR-**_eep?" He coughs shakes his head and ever so politely asks, "Excuse me? Did you say femme?"

Bee peeks at the huge mech between his fingers. "Shockwave have you ever been in love and done something completely stupid to win a femme's attention?" And then Bee closes his face over at Shockwave's completely bewildered look. Jazz begins chuckling lightly.

Shockwave steps back from Bee and comes closer to Jazz still shaking his head in confusion, "Take me too them before your craziness infects the rest of my pets." And then continues to mutter some more Deception curses against Autobots under his breath.

~~ If Shockwave was startled in bemusement by Bee's confession, the sight of the weapons range splattered in pastel and neon colors with now splattered once silver Sideswipe huddled on top of a barrier wall with a flock of freshly hatched Driller worms trying to reach up the wall to him... completely threw him into another dimension.

**KABOOM** and everyone but Shockwave jumps.

Shockwave turns to Bee, "How many did you take?"

Bee thinks for a moment, "Forty."

Everyone gasps (even Shockwave) "_**Forty!**_"

Bee leans in and scoffs, "Fine! So how many Easter Eggs does a human child hunt? Hum? You don't know either, so there! Go big or go home, right?"

Bluestreak shakes his head, "We're gonna be here forever."

Shockwave shakes his head and sends out a harmonic signal, "This should slow down the hatching. I'll catch the hatchlings, you bring me the eggs. You!" he points to Sideswipe, "Stay put, Bait!" Sideswipe scowls but does as he's told.

~~ Now down in the kitchen (while the others are gathering up the Driller babies) Sunstreaker and Manta are in charge of holding the bunnies together. Not sure of how else to keep them contained decide to use the walk in frige. {No! don't ask me why, just go with it! 'Kay?} That is until Sunstreaker gets the bright idea, "Didn't Sari say something about Chocolate Bunnies?" Manta nods his head. "You know we could save this day yet by giving Bee a chocolate bunny to give to Sari. Right?" Manta nods again. "Well, it can't be that hard. We've got bunnies and we've got Prime's left over fudge from his creation-day celebration. So, what, umm heat up the fudge and dunk the bunnies right?" Manta shrugs. Sunstreaker gets the fudge out and Manta grabs a couple bunnies. As he stirs the pot, "You know, humans are very weird. Eating chocolate covered bunnies? Sounds kind of disgusting to me. But eh, I'm willing to try it once."

~~ Alright, so while Manta and Sunstreaker are making chocolate covered bunnies, Shockwave and team gathers the Drillers. Shockwave is amazingly tender and cuddly to the vicious and evil looking creatures. And likewise, they seem to utterly adore him. Like a cyber puppy to a sparkling.

Jazz walks Shockwave to the main door with his crate (used to hold amo-shells) of eggs and planet eating pets. Shockwave actually smiles, "So, you get all painted stupidly for a femme, too?"

Jazz shakes his head, "Nah, just encouraging a friend." He points to the basket, "That was not my idea!" Shockwave snickers.

Jazz nudges Shockwave's shoulder, "Come on, haven't you ever done something completely stupid because you were in love?"

Shockwave tries to remain stoic, but finally waggles his optic brow, "Haven't we all?"

Jazz's smirk spreads really wide, "Really? Soooo, what did you do?"

By now they have reached the door. Shockwave pulls up his aire of superiority and smirks, "If I told you, I'd have to rip your pretty little wings off and feed them to you. Good night, Autobot." Jazz's jaw just slacks in awe.

~~ Back in the kitchen, the Easter Egg Brigade meets along with Prime and Ultra Magnus. Sunstreaker plops a squirming chocolate covered petrorabbit in Sari's hand, "Merry Easter and a happy new Fourth of July, Sari!"

She looks at the poor creature in disgust. "What did you do!"

Manta shrugs, "You said you missed chocolate covered bunny rabbits. So we made you one."

Sari takes the poor creature to the sink and begins to wash it off. Casey is no help at all because she is now slumped in complete hysterics against the wall with tears streaming down her face unable to take in any air.

Bee is so hurt that his special day for Sari has literally blown up. Sari looks over to Bee seeing he's hurt, "Bee, it's chocolate candy that looks like a rabbit. It's not an actual rabbit cover in chocolate that you eat. Ewww, yuck." She scrubs the poor bunnies' ear out and then gets a towel to dry him off. "So how many did you do this to?"

Sunstreaker points to the rack of fifteen bunnies. Sari moans.

Prime is digging through the cupboards, "Hey! Where's my fudge?"

At this point Sunstreaker is about to run. Sari sees some thing on the counter next to the stove and picks it up, "I hate the black ones, but at least you guys got the jelly beans right."

She tosses it in the air and opens her mouth to catch it as everyone yells:

"NOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
